We Failed Erica Garner

We failed Erica. She worked so hard and we pitched in so little. I think about the $100 million that Zuckerberg gave to Newark and was frittered away. 1% of that might have saved Erica’s life. She could have afforded better food, seen a therapist, while not having to worry about rent.

One of my favorite artists, Trudy, writes about how self-care is weaponized against Black women. Admonishing someone over-worked, stressed out, and poor to prioritize their self-care is abusive.

We expect the most marginalized and hardest working people to carry the world on their backs and offer them nothing. We want them to change the world, but don’t want to open our wallets to ease their burden. We don’t trust poor people with our money, preferring to paternalistically give it to well-funded organizations rather than the people doing the work.

A cop murdered her father, but we let Erica Garner die.

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A Prayer For The Mothers

A prayer for the mothers who never got to hold their babies

For the dads who gave birth and are treated with suspicion 

For the grandmas doing the work all over again

For the single moms who made their own breakfast today

For the stepmothers who are and yet are not

For the child missing someone who did not exist

For those laying roses instead of giving them

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My Alphabet

Asthma

Blood Work

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Depression

EEGs

Fibromyalgia

Guilt

Herniated discs

Insomnia

Jobless

Kindness

Loneliness

Migraines

Nerve damage

Osteoarthritis 

Pain 

Questions 

Repressed memories

Sinus infections

Trigger point injections

Unstable Pelvis

Vivid dreams

Worthlessness

Xanax

Yearning

Zoning out

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It Does Happen Here

History teaches us that when Hitler designed the concentration camps, he was inspired by how the United States rounded up groups of Native Americans onto reservations.

Don’t believe the lie that it can’t happen here. We are the here other countries worry about.

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Remember

Remember the disabled people killed by Nazis.

Remember the Black people killed by Nazis.

Remember the Polish citizens, the homosexuals, the Roma & Sinti, and the Jehovah’s Witnesses killed by Nazis.

Remember and resist.

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Holocaust Remembrance Day 2017

It’s Holocaust Remembrance Day. Anti-Semite and publisher of Holocaust denial propaganda Steve Bannon gets to walk into the Oval Office every day and advise your racist president on how to prevent Muslim refugees from entering the United States. 

Some of you have literally said this is why you voted for Trump. You are so full of hate and fear that you would rather people die than accommodate refugees.

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If You Voted For Trump, You Don’t Care About Me

I said it months ago, trying to prevent this day from happening. I’ll say it declaratively now; if you voted for Trump, you don’t care about me.

Some of you have made this more clear than others. I have family that never called after the car accident. We had friends that abandoned us when money got tight.

This last year though. Man… I didn’t think people could still disappoint me this much.

You don’t care about me.

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Imma Let You Finish Meryl, But…

The most annoying thing that’s come out of Meryl Streep’s nearly perfect speech is the amount of abled people who are suddenly experts on disabled people. So here’s a quick primer:

1. Disabled people are capable, even powerfully so, to speak for ourselves.

2. Abled parents of disabled children are not more knowledgeable than actual disabled people.

3. Please stop giving us cutesy euphemisms. We are disabled. We are not handicapped, handicapable, special, special needs, invalids, wheelchair bound, or differently abled.

4. His name is Serge Kovaleski. He is a Pulitzer Prize winning investigative journalist for The New York Times.

5. You should be offended by someone mocking a disabled person. You should also be offended by racism against Mexicans and Black people, Islamophobia, and sexual assault.

6. While you’re at it, be offended that Donald Trump was sued 8 times for ADA violations. Be offended that hotels regularly misrepresent their ADA compliance, leaving disabled guests unable to access their shower or transfer from their wheelchair to their bed. Be offended when voting sites have “just one step” or no chairs for people to sit in while they wait.

Be offended at no closed captioning, no image descriptions, no Braille. Be offended when concerts and plays use strobe effects without warning. Before the show isn’t good enough either, before the point of sale.

Be offended by 4 year waiting periods for Social Security Disability Insurance applications. Be offended that 30% of disabled Americans live in poverty.

Be offended that ears, eyes, and teeth aren’t covered by health insurance. Be offended by disabled people needing to crowd-fund mobility devices, surgeries, and basic living expenses. Be offended by co-pays, co-insurance, and deductibles.

Be offended that my friends, my family, and I are either treated as political footballs or we’re not thought of at all.

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I was on a podcast!

My friends Queen and J invited me to be on episode 83 of their fabulous podcast Tea With Queen & J along with my fellow disabled person and friend, Mae. I got to hang out for the entire episode and talk about the inattention to Black hair needs on The Walking Dead and Jennifer Lawrence’s latest act of fuckery in addition to a lengthy segment where Mae joined us on the phone to talk about ableism, eugenics, and how the latest war on drugs is devastating to chronic pain sufferers. Listen to it on Soundcloud or on iTunes.

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The Impetus

I realized something seemingly obvious about myself this year and it feels amazing. I look for ways to bring it up in conversation and I get a burst of joy every time I say it.

“I’m disabled”.
I see little parking placard – blue birds twittering around with prescription bottles in their beaks as I declare with Disney princess “I want” song confidence,
“I’m disabled”.
I’m disabled.

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